Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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