Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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