ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
