Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize