I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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