Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
