Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Randomize
