He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
