i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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