i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
OPIZZABONMYDICK
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
