the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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