...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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