y did u give ur computer a hand job?
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
