It's like God shit irony all over that family
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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