so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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