Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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