they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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