conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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