I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
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