physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
