I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
