he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
false alarm, still single
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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