just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
