Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
