worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
