I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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