According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
But break dance skills will only take you so far
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
