i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
