I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Pants are for mortals
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