I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
