yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
