I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
