mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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