batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
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