Do you still have your period?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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