the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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