I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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