You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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