I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
