It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
