Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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