OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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