weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
