i just google imaged poop.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
