Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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