btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
