so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
