dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
