I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
