I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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