Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
