I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
