its not stalking. its research.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
