I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
