Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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