It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
