If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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