11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
