Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
