So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
