i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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