Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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