I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
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