i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
