Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
